How can we solve this dilemma?

I have a friend who is a vegetarian. I am not a vegetarian and don't have plans to become one. I don't eat a TON of meat, but there are certain dishes that I like better with chicken or beef.





We are both studying abroad and he wants to collaborate on groceries to save money. He also wants us to cook together, sharing ingredients and all that. The problem is that every time we cook together, each meal has to be vegetarian. Instead of chicken we add tofu to pastas, stir-fry, etc. At first I was fine with it, but it dawned on me that if he is going to use my ingredients and stuff that I pay for, then why do we always have to do things his way? I'm not going to force him to eat meat but I just need a tactful way to explain to him that I don't want to keep paying for ingredients when I never get to cook them in the way I want to.





I know I can just cook my meals separately but then my ingredients will be used up twice as fast and that's more money lost for me.How can we solve this dilemma?
If it had nothing to do with vegetarianism, and let's say one of you was allergic to fish, why in the world would you make one meal with fish in it that the other person couldn't eat? The only way to go is to come up with meals that are similar right down until you get to the meat ingredient, then he can buy his tofu.. and you can buy your chicken. Cook the two similar but different meals in two different pots and you're done., Then you don't have to pay for his tofu and he doesn't have to pay for your meat, but you share the rest of the ingredients. He shouldn't have to pay for half of your much more expensive steak either.How can we solve this dilemma?
Why not make things that could be served with meat? If you add the meat at the last minute you can still cook together. For example, both have the same potatoes and veggies and cook some chicken separately. If you do want something where the meat has to go in at the beginning, or you use a meat stock, then you could cook separately just for that meal.





I'd imagine you'd start craving if you know you can't have it, so it seems reasonable to agree to a compromise. It's just being practical. As you said, it's your money and you don't want to end up resenting your friend.
I don't find this to be a vegetarian/non-vegetarian issue as much as it's a roomate's-lack-of communication and living together issue. Afterall, many people live with roomates who insist on cooking together. ..even married couples often have different tastes in food. My husband doesn't like salad or veggies as much but takes an extra helping of mashed potatoes (with extra butter, LOL). If you have a problem with this, I think you should respectfully discuss it. It's better to bring it up than to assume that the person living with you can read your mind.





As a vegetarian married to a non-vegetarian, I find that it's pretty easy to incorperate the meat into meals by being creative and flexible. You can make the meals the same but then add meat to one part of it (like on a pizza), or use smaller cooking containers and make two individual items (like lasagna) and cook them together. A little more work. . .but remember, leftovers are also great for the next day and make for less cooking. Also, why not try having the vegetarian foods and your too- you could just eat the vegetarian dish as a side dish and your roomate could have that as their main dish.





Just to give you an alternative perspective as well. (If you're open to this) Consider that your friend isn't buying meat. Meat is generally more expensive than lentils, or other protein supplements. Consider that you may be paying more money to begin with, so pehaps it IS fair to you that you are equally paying for this food.
I live in a family of meat eaters, so when we're cooking meat, we make the marinade or whatever, substituting chicken broth or beef bouillon with vegetable equivalents, and then put some over tofu and the meat equally.
There are two ways around this that I can see:





1. Learn to cook meals that are easily adapted to both meat-eaters and vegetarians. I don't see any reason why the tofu needs to be in the stir fry. You should stir fry the vegetables, and in separate pans you cook meat, and he'll cook tofu. You can add your protein sources in to your own meals, separately.





or





2. Split groceries like spices, condiments, etc, stuff that is used slowly, and you can each buy your own groceries and cook your own meals. You mentioned that your friend wants you guys to cook together. But what about what YOU want to do? It sounds like your needs aren't really being addressed. You have to let your friend know how you feel.





You guys just have to sit down and have a talk about this, because it looks like this situation isn't fair to you. But if you don't say anything, after a while, it's not your roommate's fault anymore, you know? He probably doesn't even realize how frustrated you are.





Good luck, and please don't think that all vegetarians are this way!
I don't really see what's unfair about it. If you make the dishes with meat, then he can't eat them at all. If you make them with vegetarian protein sources, then you both can eat them, you just might not enjoy them as much as if they were made with chicken or whatever.





If it is more important to you to share meals, then agree to this arrangement. If it more important to you to eat meat, then say no thanks, you would like for each of you to prepare your meals separately.





I'm not exactly sure why you say your ingredients ';will be used up twice as fast'; if you prepare meals separately. You'll both be cooking for one, so presumably you'll each use half the amounts in preparing your separate meals, than if you were cooking together. Also, why do you call them ';your'; ingredients, assuming that you divide the costs of groceries equitably?
Cook the meat separately, what's so difficult about that. In nearly every culture around the world, meat is a separately cooked and often a separate dish anyway. If you don't like tofu or whatever, get them to make it a separate dish for themselves too. Simple.
That's vegetarians for you. They make it so you have to conform to their lifestyle, but they won't try anything that you like. IMO, get out of that relationship, kick her out of your apt and find someone better, shouldn't be that hard to either.





Answerer - You're analogy of someone being allergic to a type of food is completely irrelevant and has absolutely nothing to do with the case at hand. The vegetarian made a CHOICE to be a vegetarian, she won't die if she eats meat. It's not fair to her normal roommate to force her to not eat meat just because SHE made the choice not to eat it. You vegetarians need to live with your choices, you are the one's being different and you should accept the responsibilities that come with being different.